Showing posts with label Self Care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self Care. Show all posts

23 September 2017

Struggling

I haven't posted anything in a while.  Honestly, it's been rough.  One dog diagnosed with three kinds of cancer, back pain, losing another dog...I've had a hard time taking good care of myself.

This sweet girl...who blessed me with her love for over 13 years (she was 21 years old and had an amazingly long life), moved over 15,000 miles with me back and forth across the ocean, and saw me through love and heart break and joy and pain...her loss is tremendously painful both to me and to the other dog.

Every time I think I'm back on track something derails me. 

Yeah...pretty much what it feels like right now.

Half the time I can't even get on track. But I can't pin point what's wrong.  Sometimes it's emotions. Sometimes it's physical pain. Sometimes it's boredom with what seems like the same meals mixed and matched over and over.  Lately I don't feel like preparing food but when I don't I eat crap and feel tired and headachy (oh, really bad migraines have also been a thing lately).  When I do prepare food I end up not wanting whatever it is that I prepared.  Then I feel guilty for wasting food.  I'm just struggling.
I've struggled before but this seems to be a particularly funky funk.  I'd love to go for a run which used to be great for shaking the cobwebs out of my brain but back pain has eliminated that option.  I wish I had some exciting new recipes to try or ... I don't know...*something* 

What do you do to shake off a funk? 

15 July 2017

Self Care

At this point, we all know that self care is important...whether we practice it like we should or not.

Self care might be getting to a yoga class or meeting a friend for coffee or getting a massage.  It could be going for a hike, soaking in a bath while someone else watches the kids or a glass of wine. 

Meet yourself where you are right now.
This is something I tell the class when I teach yoga.  This isn't necessarily where you want to be or where you thought you were going to be.  You might show up to class feeling like you're ready to tackle all the difficult poses but then find yourself spending the entire class in child's pose.  Great.  It is very important to understand what you need and give yourself permission to do that.  I'm not saying you shouldn't challenge yourself or push through a funk.  Of course, sometimes you get to the gym feeling tired and lethargic only to leave feeling energized because you dug deep and found your mojo.

I went to Greece for a few days while waiting for the dog's CT results.  I wondered if going away when I didn't know if or how sick he was was a good idea.  It was.  I needed a break.

Right now...I'm sitting on the couch with a pizza.  Don't judge me for eating a whole pizza.  Italian pizzas are smaller than American pizzas.  But even if they weren't, you still shouldn't judge.  Last Saturday I learned that my dog has 3 kinds of cancer.  Despite that news, I managed to eat well and take care of myself.  Well, I did spend one night not really sleeping because I was so upset.  But other than that I managed to get through the week and yesterday went to the vet and picked up his new medications.

He now has 5:

  • One he has to have before meals to coat his stomach so that the other meds don't upset it. Which means I have to remember to give it to him when I first wake up so that I can feed him before I leave for work.  Same when I get home.  Otherwise he gets fed late.  It has to be squirted into his mouth.  He hates it and fights against it.  I obviously don't want to stress him but I also want to make sure he gets what he needs.  It stresses me.
  • One he gets every morning.
  • One he gets every other morning.
  • One he gets every afternoon.
  • One he gets every other evening.
  • I have to salt his food so that he drinks more water to flush one of the meds out of his bladder because it can cause bleeding. 
  • I have to make sure he gets out to pee more frequently.  I had to hire someone to come during the day and take him out while I'm at work.
  • Two are toxic and I'm not supposed to touch them.
  • One is dangerous to kids and pregnant women.  I live in a 2-unit house.  The owners live upstairs and their grandkids are here quite often.  So I've taken the dog out of the yard a half-dozen times to pee today so that there's no chance one of the kids might come into contact with his urine (say they're running around in sandals...it can be absorbed through their skin). The owner is being awesome and fencing off part of the yard for the dog (the entire property is already fenced) so that he has room to pee but the grandkids won't be at risk.
I have to make a chart to remember what day it is and what I'm supposed to give him when.  It's overwhelming. 

He doesn't seem at all bothered by any of it; which is good.  Hopefully he continues to feel good and comfortable.

So I'm eating a pizza.  I'm not beating myself up or feeling guilty.  I'm accepting where I am right now and right now, I need yummy food that doesn't take any of my effort.  I'm mentally exhausted and emotionally drained.  Tomorrow I'll make meals for the week that don't involve pizza.   Tonight, though, I'm caring for myself in the way I need.

What's your go-to self care?