Self Care

At this point, we all know that self care is important...whether we practice it like we should or not.

Self care might be getting to a yoga class or meeting a friend for coffee or getting a massage.  It could be going for a hike, soaking in a bath while someone else watches the kids or a glass of wine. 

Meet yourself where you are right now.

This is something I tell the class when I teach yoga.  This isn't necessarily where you want to be or where you thought you were going to be.  You might show up to class feeling like you're ready to tackle all the difficult poses but then find yourself spending the entire class in child's pose.  Great.  It is very important to understand what you need and give yourself permission to do that.  I'm not saying you shouldn't challenge yourself or push through a funk.  Of course, sometimes you get to the gym feeling tired and lethargic only to leave feeling energized because you dug deep and found your mojo.

I went to Greece for a few days while waiting for the dog's CT results.  I wondered if going away when I didn't know if or how sick he was was a good idea.  It was.  I needed a break.

Right now...I'm sitting on the couch with a pizza.  Don't judge me for eating a whole pizza.  Italian pizzas are smaller than American pizzas.  But even if they weren't, you still shouldn't judge.  Last Saturday I learned that my dog has 3 kinds of cancer.  Despite that news, I managed to eat well and take care of myself.  Well, I did spend one night not really sleeping because I was so upset.  But other than that I managed to get through the week and yesterday went to the vet and picked up his new medications.

He now has 5:

• One he has to have before meals to coat his stomach so that the other meds don't upset it. Which means I have to remember to give it to him when I first wake up so that I can feed him before I leave for work.  Same when I get home.  Otherwise he gets fed late.  It has to be squirted into his mouth.  He hates it and fights against it.  I obviously don't want to stress him but I also want to make sure he gets what he needs.  It stresses me.
• One he gets every morning.
• One he gets every other morning.
• One he gets every afternoon.
• One he gets every other evening.
• I have to salt his food so that he drinks more water to flush one of the meds out of his bladder because it can cause bleeding. 
• I have to make sure he gets out to pee more frequently.  I had to hire someone to come during the day and take him out while I'm at work.
• Two are toxic and I'm not supposed to touch them.
• One is dangerous to kids and pregnant women.  I live in a 2-unit house.  The owners live upstairs and their grandkids are here quite often.  So I've taken the dog out of the yard a half-dozen times to pee today so that there's no chance one of the kids might come into contact with his urine (say they're running around in sandals...it can be absorbed through their skin). The owner is being awesome and fencing off part of the yard for the dog (the entire property is already fenced) so that he has room to pee but the grandkids won't be at risk.

I have to make a chart to remember what day it is and what I'm supposed to give him when.  It's overwhelming. 

He doesn't seem at all bothered by any of it; which is good.  Hopefully he continues to feel good and comfortable.

So I'm eating a pizza.  I'm not beating myself up or feeling guilty.  I'm accepting where I am right now and right now, I need yummy food that doesn't take any of my effort.  I'm mentally exhausted and emotionally drained.  Tomorrow I'll make meals for the week that don't involve pizza.   Tonight, though, I'm caring for myself in the way I need.

What's your go-to self care?

Gabi, A Girl in Pieces - Read This Book!

I read (devoured) Gabi, A Girl in Pieces by Isabel Quintero while riding a train from Switzerland back to Italy.  Then I promptly reread it because the author gave Gabi, the main character, so many good lines that I needed to make note of some of them. 

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Gabi is a high school senior and the story deals with lots of things high schoolers deal with...sex, school, relationships, looks...but Gabi is overweight (the book doesn't say how overweight she is but Gabi considers herself to be fat).  She thinks about and talks a lot about food and it's this relationship that I found so relatable - although I think the way Gabi is brought up believing that even thinking about sex makes her a bad girl is probably relatable to many.

The first line that struck a chord with me was:

" My baby brother is different. He doesn't say much, but he feels a lot of anger and sadness, and he can't scream it out loud or eat through it like I do."

My "little" brother is really tall and super skinny and can't gain weight if he tries.  He doesn't eat his feelings (he eats tons but not to drown feelings...he has other unhealthy ways of doing that) like I'm prone to do.

Gabi often turns to food to deal with her feelings:

"I tried not to cry. And was able to wait until I got into my room and shut the door.  I pulled some Kit-Kats from my underwear drawer and chewed my heartache away."

And she gets excited about food:

"However, I did say something like, "Oh my God, Martin! It'd be cool to work on poetry with someone else. And I have some really good beef jerky we can snack on!" Which now that I think about it, sounds pretty awkward and creepy.  Who gets excited about snacking on beef jerky, no matter how good it is?  Me, that's who.  And only me."

Being a vegetarian, I don't get excited about beef jerky but I do completely understand being super excited about a food item which, to most, would not be something about which to get super excited.

Anyone who struggles with using food to deal with feelings will relate to this one:

"I have to do something to feel better. Right now though, this box of Thin Mints will have to do."

And Thin Mints are vegan!!  Not that there aren't many, many, many reasons not to eat them but...

Like many people to struggle with weight and body image issues, Gabi seems to think that her weight dictates parts of her life that really have nothing to do with the number on the scale.  Like her intelligence.  As if fat girls aren't just as smart as skinny ones:

"Me. The Mexican fat girl. Accepted to Berkeley!"

Almost anyone who truly enjoys food has felt something similar to this about some food item...be it really good dark chocolate or tacos or, if you're one of those people, roasted Brussel sprouts :)

"Tacos are like what the voices of a hundred angels singing Bob Dylan while sitting on rainbows and playing banjos would taste like if that sound were edible."

Moderation is not something everyone is good at (whether your vice is food or alcohol or running or whatever it might be):

"Not only did I have seconds but also thirds, they were so good.  I immediately regretted eating all of that gordita goodness after I spoke with Cindy on the phone.  She called to see if I wanted to go prom-dress shopping with her this weekend because it was getting close, and she didn't have any idea what she would be wearing. How am I supposed to fit into any sort of non-muumuu dress after all that food? Ugh!"

I love her description of clothing sizes.  Most of us don't fit the exact standards to which clothes are designed.  Some of us are super short but not super slim while others are exactly as tall as a size 10 jeans but have chunky legs or extra booty or whatever it is.  Clothes shopping is super frustrating for almost everyone I know.

"None of the dresses I liked were available in plus sizes: they only came in "I-limit-myself-to-only-one-gordita" or "I-only-eat-lettuce" sizes.  That's the main reason I hate shopping."

Even when we try to do what we know is "better" for us, sometimes our old comfort habits are still what make us feel the best:

"Went for a run, but the ice cram I ate afterwards helped a lot more."

I don't consider myself to be the "fat girl."  I carry a few more pounds than I would like but regardless, YES to this...yes, yes, yes:

"Never ask the fat girl if she is hungry.  She's always hungry.  Even if she's not, she is, because food is safe and controllable and soothing and salty and sweet, and it doesn't scream at you or make you feel bad unless you are trying on clothes."

So many people struggle with the enemy of the mirror thanks to society's constant bombardment of "perfect" images and what we need to do to be "perfect" and why we're failing at being "perfect."  Ever left the house thinking everything was good and then caught a glimpse of yourself in a mirror or window and had an avalanche of terribly self-negative thoughts crash into your head?

"How would that be.  I don't think I want him to see me naked, I mean, eww gross.  Sometimes I don't want to see myself naked. Sometimes the mirror is my enemy."

Ahhh....if only we all felt this way most, if not all, of the time! If only we felt like it was okay to be happy being ourselves.  If only we didn't feel like we always have to be striving for that impossible perfect.

"At that moment I wasn't too fat, I wasn't too white, I wasn't bad, I was just me."

I absolutely LOVE that she wants her brain's vacation to include eating pizza!!

"This is the thing with me: as soon as I start thinking about something, I can't let it go.  It's exhausting. I wish I could just turn my brain off and let it take a small vacation - near the beach, drinking lemonade and eating pizza."

A world without cheese...

"The thing about being a fat girl is that bathing suits are at the top of your list of nightmares--along with diabetes, too-small leggings, pants that give you camel toe, underwires in a bra and a world without cheese."

Body image issues can overwhelm a person...sometimes to the point of them not leaving the house or always sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else enjoy themselves.  If I wear pants I'll be uncomfortable because it's too hot.  If I wear shorts I'll be uncomfortable because my thighs rub together. Being comfortable should not be difficult. 

Maybe you won't get in the pool with your kids because you don't want to wear a bathing suit and listen to people call you Olive Oil and ask if your boyfriend likes spinach.

Or maybe you don't fly to your sister's wedding in Hawaii because you don't want the embarrassment of asking for the seat belt extender. 

Perhaps you just had a baby and feel like you haven't lost enough of the baby weight and none of your clothes fit right. 

It might be that your finances don't allow you to buy new clothes and you don't want to be judged for wearing outdated fashions. 

Could be that you tried giving yourself a new hair color and it turned out all wrong and you can't stand the thought of anyone seeing it.

There are so many reasons why we judge ourselves and assume others are judging us.  It's often difficult to feel comfortable in our own skin.  It can be hard not to watch our coworker eat French fries every day and be jealous of the fact that she stays so slim without working out.  Or to see someone walk into a store, buy a pair of pants off the rack and have them fit perfectly without having to pay an extra $8 per pair to get them hemmed shorter.  For my brother, it's frustrating for him when people pick on him for being so skinny that his ribs and hip bones stick out. 

"The other thing about being fat is that you spend too much damn time worrying about being fat and that takes time away from having fun."

I'm working on getting out there and having fun and without worrying about whether I have on the right outfit (I probably don't but I rarely go shopping (because I hate it) and don't think I have much of a fashion-sense anyway) or feeling like I should be foregoing the gelato or the chocolate or the pasta or whatever it is.  I need to be me, as I am right now; not as I think I "should" be.

This book dealt with a lot of things that weren't food-related and I think a lot of people (it's a YA book but I believe adults can connect with it as I did) will have things in common with Gabi. It's a really fast read and I think Quintero did a great job making Gabi such a relatable character with real flaws and real struggles and even if the ending was a tiny bit cheesy (of course they both got accepted and will go together even though chances are they won't stay together long because it's college and people change a lot) I loved the book and it will probably end up being one of the few books I read over and over and over.

A Little Chat

I did REALLY well giving up sugar for 6 weeks.  Insanely surprisingly well!!  I've never had such an easy time and I wish I knew what made it so easy this time.  I even lost weight and that almost never happens.  I got a little off track with a month-long visit from the family and some other things (dog had to have emergency surgery last week and that affected the whole week's schedule and routine) but this week I really thought I could get back on track.

I was passing by a friend's office the other day (I'm doing some work in the building where she works) and her door was open so I stuck my head in to say hello.  She greeted me by holding up her green smoothie.  I said I was also drinking smoothies this week because it's really dang hot and the idea of cooking or eating something hot is too much.  She mentioned better eating and I said I had done really well for 6 weeks.  Anyway, just that little 5-minute chat was enough to help me power through some stress and exhaustion (hello unexpected )11 hour work day without grabbing some junk to eat. 

Sometimes it doesn't take much to get or keep yourself on plan.  I mean, let's face it, sometimes  you need an ocean between you and the stuff you want to stay away from.  But sometimes just a very small thing can be all you need to keep your motivation up.  YAY for small victories!

Today is International Day of Yoga.  The plan was to attend an event downtown but it starts at 1930 and ends at 2030 and I'm usually crawling into bed about that time.  So as much as I want to go, I think I do some mental yoga as I attempt to wrap my brain around my Italian lesson :)  Happy International Day of Yoga!

Funny!...And Sad...And True!

Have you tried any of the diet fads?

A Gazillion Times, YES to This!!!

I can't even begin to express how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE this.  OWN that belly!!!!!



How do you feel about your belly?

I. LOVE. THIS! - {The Revolution}

What a fabulous example about the Revolution.  Stop hating your body!!

Eat What You Want Day

Sometimes you want cookies or ice cream or chocolate or all of the above.  I've seen random things declaring this or that day as Eat What You Want Day.  Well, I recently participated in Eat What You Want Month-and-a-Half.  I did this with full knowledge and acknowledgement of what I was doing.  By the way, the new vegan Ben & Jerry's is pretty good :D  I can't say exactly why I turned to junk food for comfort but I made an effort to not beat myself up over it.  I'd like to eventually figure this out and hopefully find a better way to deal with emotions but for now it's a step to recognize what I'm doing and to treat myself kindly instead of negatively. Thinking of myself as a fat slug that lacks willpower is really not constructive and it was great to not feel that way about myself this time.

A couple weeks ago I realized I no longer wanted to eat an entire package of cookies. Of course, I know that eating an entire package of cookies will leave me feeling very  much not well.  But that sometimes isn't enough to stop me from doing that.  I was however surprised at how quickly I felt better after I stopped eating all the junk. 

I get out of bed much more easily.  I have more energy. I'm not as tired throughout the day.  I have more motivation for things like housework (let's be honest, I rarely ever have actual motivation for housework but these few weeks I've been able to get more done).  I don't feel constantly hungry even though I'm eating much less.  My mood is better. So many positive things gained simply by cutting out the crap.

I'm sure I'll enter more phases of soothing myself with food but I consider this last episode to be an improvement over previous ones just because I stopped hating myself. It works.  You should try it!

Do you ever go through phases of eating whatever you want? How do you deal with that?

Silencing the "If Only" - Start a Revolution

How many times have I/you thought, "I'd wear those shorts if I had shapely legs like her," or "I'd take that class at the gym if I was in better shape," or "Oh, she should not be wearing that?"

The pressure these days to have the perfect body...the perfect kids...the perfect life...everything is seen through an Instagram filter or benefits from photoshop. Full disclosure: I don't have/do/use Instagram nor do I usually post pictures of myself on social media but I see social media posts and wonder how people can be so perfect.  The answer is, they're not.  Of course they're not.  So why do we feel like we have to live up to this unreal/unrealistic standard?  Why do these obviously-altered pictures make us feel inadequate?

The amazing Angie at Angie Eats Peace is doing a series of posts about the wonderful spectrum of different people who do yoga.  She asked me to participate.  This included sending her a picture.  I took about 47 and hated them all.  The irony of the fact that I'm wearing a shirt that says, "Feel Beautiful Today," is not lost on me! I took another 90 or so and deleted every one of them.  I have body image issues.

I'm tired of being constantly unhappy with how I look and tired of hearing non-stop negative comments about people's appearance.  Enough already!  When someone posts a picture of themselves and gets comments saying, "If you're over 200 lbs you shouldn't wear a bikini," I want to cry for her and I want to punch the commenter in the face. We, as a society, need to Break the Self-Hatred Cycle for Our Daughters (and our sons). 

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Seeing this picture my first thought was, "If I had a flat belly like that I might consider posting a picture."  So, very quickly (otherwise I'd spend a whole day and end up with nothing I felt was good enough) and without even bothering to clean the mirror that's usually behind a shelf (I don't spend a lot of time looking at myself in the mirror!), I just took this picture....curvy belly and all.  I actually have pretty tight ab muscles but you can't see them because, as my Gran says, I'm fluffy. 

It is really not easy to put it up on the interwebs but I'm not going to apologize for not having a magazine-cover body.  I'm going to seriously work on being less judgmental about myself and other people.   The messages we're sending to young girls and boys these days are terrifying.  I can talk a good game about body positivity. It's time to start living it.  It starts now!

If you're so inclined, post your own picture and send me a link (feel free to link back to this post, too). Let's start a revolution!

Skin Deep

I was in the restroom at work this morning.  A coworker was applying makeup with the aid of one of the above-sink mirrors.  "Don't judge," she said.  I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be not judging.  She explained that she had had to throw out all her makeup over the weekend and so she bought new stuff on the way to work and hadn't had time to apply it before getting there.  I later heard her explain the same thing to another coworker.  They discussed how sometimes on the weekend they might only wear eyeliner and mascara but only if not leaving the house.

I rarely wear any makeup. Not because I'm am super confident about my appearance but because I prefer not to gunk up my skin and mostly because I'm not willing to take the time for it. I never wear mascara as it makes my eyes water so much it looks like I've been crying.  I'm sure there are a lot of women out there who do not leave the house without makeup and who wear a "minimum" amount even if they aren't going any where.  I have a cousin who had eyeliner tattooed on so that she never had to worry about it again.  This makes me incredibly sad...that so many women feel they cannot be seen without covering up and embellishing their faces.  I see women in the gym every day who are far more made up than I would ever be and they're presumably there to sweat (but still won't be seen without mascara)!

I know this is largely a societal pressure that women have taken on and I know it isn't going anywhere but I still wonder if there's anything I can do to change it in any way.  I love the Post Secret blog.  If you're not familiar with it, people mail (yes, using the post office kind of mail) their secrets on post cards to a man in MD.  He posts some of them every Sunday.  This one was posted recently.

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I have so many feelings about this...far too many to unpack in one post.

What are we doing to our girls? Why are we doing this? How do you feel about makeup?

Oh So True

Just a little humor that is So. Very. True!  All images from HERE. Enjoy!

I realize the two are not necessarily mutually exclusive but sometimes it feels like they are.

Most of my waking thoughts revolve around what I get to eat next, when I get to eat it and how much of it I get to eat!

Like I said!

MMMMMMMMM...Pizza!

That would be the definition of a smart phone!  If that happens I might consider getting one.

What I Ate Wednesday - Vegan Goat Cheese

Goats are vegans, right?  So goat cheese is vegan, right? 

Obviously I know this is not true.  I wish it was.  I'm not a vegan...yet.  It's a goal I'm working on but there are a lot of factors involved.  I won't unpack them all in this post. I am, however, fully aware of the horrors of the animal-product industry.  I've seen the movies. I know the impacts.  The few animal products I do consume are organic and from small, local, sustainable farms.  I'm working on it.

Angie over at Angie Eats Peace sometimes does What I Ate Wednesday posts so I thought I'd do one and talk about one aspect of my vegetarian-to-vegan journey.

I'm a tiny person (although, as I discussed yesterday, not a thin person).  I've heard, "as much as you exercise you must be able to eat whatever you want," so many times.  If Only! 

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I plan my meals for the week and have to be very strict or I will easily consume far too many calories for someone my size.  Even though most of what I eat is very healthy I still have to carefully watch my portions. Eating the same thing every day for a week makes the planning a lot easier.

I usually take my dogs for a quick walk before leaving for work.  Today, however, I managed to burn my finger while boiling water for coffee so I spent all the time I had before leaving with my hand in ice water.  Not an ideal way to start a day!

I'm a little like Rain Man when it comes to eating.  You can almost set your watch to what I eat and when.  I usually eat a handful of almonds  (I have small hands so we're talking 12) on my way to work which is around 0600.  I have coffee most mornings as well.  I usually use half-and-half.  I like my coffee creamy. I know there are plant-based substitutes but they come in disposable (usually not recyclable) packaging.  I only allow myself to buy half-and-half if I can get it in returnable glass bottles from a local, organic dairy.  My desire to lead a close-to-zero waste life sometimes conflicts with my desire to become vegan.  I do sometimes use coconut oil in my coffee but after a while I really crave the creaminess that comes from half-and-half.  This is a journey and I don't have it all figured out.

At 0800 I eat my breakfast.  This week (I basically eat the same menu all week and I prepare everything on Sunday so that it is all ready to go) my breakfast is a slice of Rudi's Multigrain Sprouted toast (I am not being compensated for mentioning this product but if Rudi's is interested... :D) with a mixture consisting of a tablespoon of fresh-ground peanut butter, a tablespoon of avocado and a half-scoop of chocolate protein powder all mixed with enough water so that it is moist enough to spread.  It's not pretty but it is filling.



I wish I loved avocado like a good vegetarian but I don't.  I can eat them if I must but I do not enjoy them.  However, I found that if I mix the smashed avocado with a little peanut butter then I get the healthy benefits of eating avocado without the avocado flavor.  In this case I wanted more protein so I added the protein powder.  I like Plant Fusion (again, no compensation but if Plant Fusion is interested...:D). High protein, low carbs, tastes good and the price per serving is lower than most with similar protein-to-carb ratios.

At 1000 I eat a string cheese.  I've tried other options on my quest to eliminate animal products but so far haven't found anything that is as satisfying without a great increase in carbs/calories.  I'm still searching.  And I'm aware that string cheese comes in plastic packaging.  Striving for life as a zero-waste vegan is not an easy endeavor!

At 1130 I eat a salad (although today I had a roof inspection at 1130 so I was late eating...this does not make my inner Rain Man very happy).  Again, being somewhat RainMan-esque I eat the same salad Every. Single. Day.  It contains cauliflower, tomatoes, mushrooms and greens.  It used to contain goat cheese.  I love goat cheese.  I ran out a couple weeks ago and forgot to add it to my grocery list.  So I decided to eat my salads without it that week to see if I could get used to not having it.  Then I intentionally didn't buy any last week.  Honestly, I do not particularly enjoy my salad without the goat cheese.  I used to crave my salad but now I just eat it because it's one of the only ways I get vegetables (I'll discuss my general dislike of vegetables in another post).  Dressing I make myself with 2T ACV, 1t olive oil, 1t balsamic vinegar, some cayenne pepper and some salt-free Greek seasoning.

I believe food should be healthy (mostly) and meet the body's nutritional needs but I also feel it should be enjoyable.  There are things I eat sometimes because I know they are good for me even if I don't particularly care for them.  But I'm not a fan of doing this every day.  I'm trying to find a vegan substitute for my beloved goat cheese.  If anyone has any suggestions please let me know!  I want to enjoy my salads again.

I usually eat the rest of my lunch sometime around 1330.  I tend to make some sort of soup or stew or other dish that can be shoveled into my face with a spoon.  I very rarely eat from a plate with different foods sitting there separately.  Everything in one dish works best for me.  This week I have a soup I made with carrots, red kidney beans and whole wheat orzo. 

When I got home from work I took a little nap.  I love naps.  And, I'm almost always tired.  When I got up from my nap I took the dogs for their regular walks (longer than the morning walks).  Then I went to teach my class at the gym. I usually eat a banana on my way to the gym.

By the time I get home from the gym I'm usually ready to eat All The Things so I have to have dinner pre-made or there's no telling what will be consumed.  This week it's quinoa and tofu cooked up in soy sauce and Thai seasoning.  If sugar snap peas were in season I would have included those as well.  I also like to crush up some peanuts and mix those in but I forgot to buy them.  It's a simple dish but cooked so that the quinoa gets a little crunchy and it's super-YUM!  It can also be eaten using lettuce as a wrap but I'm usually too lazy for that extra step. I realize most people would add onions and peppers and other veggies but, again, I don't like most veggies.

I also drink lots of water throughout the day.  I have a carbonator at home as I love bubbles in my water (hold over from living in Europe).  My physical therapist recommended adding electrolytes to my water to hopefully relieve some muscle pain in my back so I started that this week.  I also like to add a splash of tart cherry juice as tart cherries help reduce inflammation.

So that's what I ate today (and the rest of the days this week).  Mostly vegan. 

What did you eat today?  Do you have any recommendations for vegan substitutes for string cheese or goat cheese?

Skinny Jeans

We had a blizzard here a couple week ago.  The shoveling-out was hell!  But it gave me a good starting point for some lessons at the gym. 

I told all my classes that I didn't care if they ever fit into skinny jeans or what they looked like in their skinny jeans if they were wearing them.  My goal is to make sure they can shovel themselves out from a blizzard or hike to the nearest gas station if their car gets stuck in the snow (I realize most people just whip out their phone and call someone these days but I come from a time when we didn't have cell phones so I remember having to hoof it if the car broke down).  Cardio endurance and core strength were going to be our focus for the week. 

For the record, I do not wear skinny jeans. Probably never will.  Then again, that isn't really my style anyway.  I have thick legs.  They are strong but there is flab as well.  I don't feel good about that but I do somehow like that I can stand in front of a class with my flabby legs and jiggly butt and lead them through a very tough workout.  I like that they can (hopefully) see that being fit and strong does not require one to be thin and lean. 

Would I like to be thin(er) and lean(er).  Sure.  But I do think that sometimes people are afraid of trying a class at the gym when the instructor looks like someone from a fitness magazine cover.  I look like an everyday, average person.  I'm okay(ish) with that.  I do like being the one with flabby legs and a jiggly butt who can do more push-ups/squats/burpees than the one who thinks an instructor with flabby thighs and a jiggly butt can't be very good :p

What do you think when you see someone who isn't thin/lean at the gym?  Do you think strong and fit are what count or do you think it's more important to be thin?

Who Am I

Hi, I'm Afi.  I love chocolate and dogs (although I don't eat the dogs and don't take chocolate for walks).   I don't expect too many people to see this but I wanted a place to talk about health and exercise/fitness and food and weight and frustrations/successes with all of those things. 

I'm a vegetarian who doesn't like very many vegetables.  I'm working towards being a vegan...maybe.  I'll talk about that later.

I'm a fitness instructor who struggles with weight and likes to eat too much.  I have body image issues but try to be a positive model of strength over size for my students. I also have chronic back pain which sometimes gets in the way of the things I want to do.

I'm just one person with a small voice.  That's okay.  Even if no one hears me.