My First Yin Yoga Class AND Yoga Teacher Training

Life...sometimes it doesn't cooperate with what we have planned.  So I haven't been here in a while.  Sometimes post ideas pop into my head but when I'm sitting at a computer I lack the energy or motivation to write.

This past week I went to my first ever Yin class.  I had no idea what it was and...WOW! Instant love-hate. I could tell right away that it was going to be super challenging for me to be still for several minutes with nothing but my thoughts (I can sit still for hours while reading a book but not if I'm not "doing" anything).

If you don't know what Yin yoga is, basically you put yourself into a pose and then hold it for several minutes.  There's no movement, no flow, just holding.  The benefits were clear pretty quickly but it was a real struggle. It's definitely something I need to work into regular practice.

This weekend I spent in yoga teacher training.  It was a great, supportive, group of yogis and that's a connection and community that I've not found here yet.  It felt really good although I will admit that I'm not great with the "fluff" parts of teaching yet.  What's "fluff?"  Things like, "Opening your chest allows you to let in positivity."  I'm an engineer and my brain sees things in very logical ways.  I get the physical aspects of poses and my cueing tends to be very instructional and less emotional.

I've already signed up for the next course in a couple months.  I look forward to adding to my knowledge, expanding my practice and making more connections.

Struggling

I haven't posted anything in a while.  Honestly, it's been rough.  One dog diagnosed with three kinds of cancer, back pain, losing another dog...I've had a hard time taking good care of myself.

This sweet girl...who blessed me with her love for over 13 years (she was 21 years old and had an amazingly long life), moved over 15,000 miles with me back and forth across the ocean, and saw me through love and heart break and joy and pain...her loss is tremendously painful both to me and to the other dog.

Every time I think I'm back on track something derails me. 

Yeah...pretty much what it feels like right now.

Half the time I can't even get on track. But I can't pin point what's wrong.  Sometimes it's emotions. Sometimes it's physical pain. Sometimes it's boredom with what seems like the same meals mixed and matched over and over.  Lately I don't feel like preparing food but when I don't I eat crap and feel tired and headachy (oh, really bad migraines have also been a thing lately).  When I do prepare food I end up not wanting whatever it is that I prepared.  Then I feel guilty for wasting food.  I'm just struggling.

I've struggled before but this seems to be a particularly funky funk.  I'd love to go for a run which used to be great for shaking the cobwebs out of my brain but back pain has eliminated that option.  I wish I had some exciting new recipes to try or ... I don't know...*something* 

What do you do to shake off a funk? 

Self Care

At this point, we all know that self care is important...whether we practice it like we should or not.

Self care might be getting to a yoga class or meeting a friend for coffee or getting a massage.  It could be going for a hike, soaking in a bath while someone else watches the kids or a glass of wine. 

Meet yourself where you are right now.

This is something I tell the class when I teach yoga.  This isn't necessarily where you want to be or where you thought you were going to be.  You might show up to class feeling like you're ready to tackle all the difficult poses but then find yourself spending the entire class in child's pose.  Great.  It is very important to understand what you need and give yourself permission to do that.  I'm not saying you shouldn't challenge yourself or push through a funk.  Of course, sometimes you get to the gym feeling tired and lethargic only to leave feeling energized because you dug deep and found your mojo.

I went to Greece for a few days while waiting for the dog's CT results.  I wondered if going away when I didn't know if or how sick he was was a good idea.  It was.  I needed a break.

Right now...I'm sitting on the couch with a pizza.  Don't judge me for eating a whole pizza.  Italian pizzas are smaller than American pizzas.  But even if they weren't, you still shouldn't judge.  Last Saturday I learned that my dog has 3 kinds of cancer.  Despite that news, I managed to eat well and take care of myself.  Well, I did spend one night not really sleeping because I was so upset.  But other than that I managed to get through the week and yesterday went to the vet and picked up his new medications.

He now has 5:

• One he has to have before meals to coat his stomach so that the other meds don't upset it. Which means I have to remember to give it to him when I first wake up so that I can feed him before I leave for work.  Same when I get home.  Otherwise he gets fed late.  It has to be squirted into his mouth.  He hates it and fights against it.  I obviously don't want to stress him but I also want to make sure he gets what he needs.  It stresses me.
• One he gets every morning.
• One he gets every other morning.
• One he gets every afternoon.
• One he gets every other evening.
• I have to salt his food so that he drinks more water to flush one of the meds out of his bladder because it can cause bleeding. 
• I have to make sure he gets out to pee more frequently.  I had to hire someone to come during the day and take him out while I'm at work.
• Two are toxic and I'm not supposed to touch them.
• One is dangerous to kids and pregnant women.  I live in a 2-unit house.  The owners live upstairs and their grandkids are here quite often.  So I've taken the dog out of the yard a half-dozen times to pee today so that there's no chance one of the kids might come into contact with his urine (say they're running around in sandals...it can be absorbed through their skin). The owner is being awesome and fencing off part of the yard for the dog (the entire property is already fenced) so that he has room to pee but the grandkids won't be at risk.

I have to make a chart to remember what day it is and what I'm supposed to give him when.  It's overwhelming. 

He doesn't seem at all bothered by any of it; which is good.  Hopefully he continues to feel good and comfortable.

So I'm eating a pizza.  I'm not beating myself up or feeling guilty.  I'm accepting where I am right now and right now, I need yummy food that doesn't take any of my effort.  I'm mentally exhausted and emotionally drained.  Tomorrow I'll make meals for the week that don't involve pizza.   Tonight, though, I'm caring for myself in the way I need.

What's your go-to self care?

Gabi, A Girl in Pieces - Read This Book!

I read (devoured) Gabi, A Girl in Pieces by Isabel Quintero while riding a train from Switzerland back to Italy.  Then I promptly reread it because the author gave Gabi, the main character, so many good lines that I needed to make note of some of them. 

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Gabi is a high school senior and the story deals with lots of things high schoolers deal with...sex, school, relationships, looks...but Gabi is overweight (the book doesn't say how overweight she is but Gabi considers herself to be fat).  She thinks about and talks a lot about food and it's this relationship that I found so relatable - although I think the way Gabi is brought up believing that even thinking about sex makes her a bad girl is probably relatable to many.

The first line that struck a chord with me was:

" My baby brother is different. He doesn't say much, but he feels a lot of anger and sadness, and he can't scream it out loud or eat through it like I do."

My "little" brother is really tall and super skinny and can't gain weight if he tries.  He doesn't eat his feelings (he eats tons but not to drown feelings...he has other unhealthy ways of doing that) like I'm prone to do.

Gabi often turns to food to deal with her feelings:

"I tried not to cry. And was able to wait until I got into my room and shut the door.  I pulled some Kit-Kats from my underwear drawer and chewed my heartache away."

And she gets excited about food:

"However, I did say something like, "Oh my God, Martin! It'd be cool to work on poetry with someone else. And I have some really good beef jerky we can snack on!" Which now that I think about it, sounds pretty awkward and creepy.  Who gets excited about snacking on beef jerky, no matter how good it is?  Me, that's who.  And only me."

Being a vegetarian, I don't get excited about beef jerky but I do completely understand being super excited about a food item which, to most, would not be something about which to get super excited.

Anyone who struggles with using food to deal with feelings will relate to this one:

"I have to do something to feel better. Right now though, this box of Thin Mints will have to do."

And Thin Mints are vegan!!  Not that there aren't many, many, many reasons not to eat them but...

Like many people to struggle with weight and body image issues, Gabi seems to think that her weight dictates parts of her life that really have nothing to do with the number on the scale.  Like her intelligence.  As if fat girls aren't just as smart as skinny ones:

"Me. The Mexican fat girl. Accepted to Berkeley!"

Almost anyone who truly enjoys food has felt something similar to this about some food item...be it really good dark chocolate or tacos or, if you're one of those people, roasted Brussel sprouts :)

"Tacos are like what the voices of a hundred angels singing Bob Dylan while sitting on rainbows and playing banjos would taste like if that sound were edible."

Moderation is not something everyone is good at (whether your vice is food or alcohol or running or whatever it might be):

"Not only did I have seconds but also thirds, they were so good.  I immediately regretted eating all of that gordita goodness after I spoke with Cindy on the phone.  She called to see if I wanted to go prom-dress shopping with her this weekend because it was getting close, and she didn't have any idea what she would be wearing. How am I supposed to fit into any sort of non-muumuu dress after all that food? Ugh!"

I love her description of clothing sizes.  Most of us don't fit the exact standards to which clothes are designed.  Some of us are super short but not super slim while others are exactly as tall as a size 10 jeans but have chunky legs or extra booty or whatever it is.  Clothes shopping is super frustrating for almost everyone I know.

"None of the dresses I liked were available in plus sizes: they only came in "I-limit-myself-to-only-one-gordita" or "I-only-eat-lettuce" sizes.  That's the main reason I hate shopping."

Even when we try to do what we know is "better" for us, sometimes our old comfort habits are still what make us feel the best:

"Went for a run, but the ice cram I ate afterwards helped a lot more."

I don't consider myself to be the "fat girl."  I carry a few more pounds than I would like but regardless, YES to this...yes, yes, yes:

"Never ask the fat girl if she is hungry.  She's always hungry.  Even if she's not, she is, because food is safe and controllable and soothing and salty and sweet, and it doesn't scream at you or make you feel bad unless you are trying on clothes."

So many people struggle with the enemy of the mirror thanks to society's constant bombardment of "perfect" images and what we need to do to be "perfect" and why we're failing at being "perfect."  Ever left the house thinking everything was good and then caught a glimpse of yourself in a mirror or window and had an avalanche of terribly self-negative thoughts crash into your head?

"How would that be.  I don't think I want him to see me naked, I mean, eww gross.  Sometimes I don't want to see myself naked. Sometimes the mirror is my enemy."

Ahhh....if only we all felt this way most, if not all, of the time! If only we felt like it was okay to be happy being ourselves.  If only we didn't feel like we always have to be striving for that impossible perfect.

"At that moment I wasn't too fat, I wasn't too white, I wasn't bad, I was just me."

I absolutely LOVE that she wants her brain's vacation to include eating pizza!!

"This is the thing with me: as soon as I start thinking about something, I can't let it go.  It's exhausting. I wish I could just turn my brain off and let it take a small vacation - near the beach, drinking lemonade and eating pizza."

A world without cheese...

"The thing about being a fat girl is that bathing suits are at the top of your list of nightmares--along with diabetes, too-small leggings, pants that give you camel toe, underwires in a bra and a world without cheese."

Body image issues can overwhelm a person...sometimes to the point of them not leaving the house or always sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else enjoy themselves.  If I wear pants I'll be uncomfortable because it's too hot.  If I wear shorts I'll be uncomfortable because my thighs rub together. Being comfortable should not be difficult. 

Maybe you won't get in the pool with your kids because you don't want to wear a bathing suit and listen to people call you Olive Oil and ask if your boyfriend likes spinach.

Or maybe you don't fly to your sister's wedding in Hawaii because you don't want the embarrassment of asking for the seat belt extender. 

Perhaps you just had a baby and feel like you haven't lost enough of the baby weight and none of your clothes fit right. 

It might be that your finances don't allow you to buy new clothes and you don't want to be judged for wearing outdated fashions. 

Could be that you tried giving yourself a new hair color and it turned out all wrong and you can't stand the thought of anyone seeing it.

There are so many reasons why we judge ourselves and assume others are judging us.  It's often difficult to feel comfortable in our own skin.  It can be hard not to watch our coworker eat French fries every day and be jealous of the fact that she stays so slim without working out.  Or to see someone walk into a store, buy a pair of pants off the rack and have them fit perfectly without having to pay an extra $8 per pair to get them hemmed shorter.  For my brother, it's frustrating for him when people pick on him for being so skinny that his ribs and hip bones stick out. 

"The other thing about being fat is that you spend too much damn time worrying about being fat and that takes time away from having fun."

I'm working on getting out there and having fun and without worrying about whether I have on the right outfit (I probably don't but I rarely go shopping (because I hate it) and don't think I have much of a fashion-sense anyway) or feeling like I should be foregoing the gelato or the chocolate or the pasta or whatever it is.  I need to be me, as I am right now; not as I think I "should" be.

This book dealt with a lot of things that weren't food-related and I think a lot of people (it's a YA book but I believe adults can connect with it as I did) will have things in common with Gabi. It's a really fast read and I think Quintero did a great job making Gabi such a relatable character with real flaws and real struggles and even if the ending was a tiny bit cheesy (of course they both got accepted and will go together even though chances are they won't stay together long because it's college and people change a lot) I loved the book and it will probably end up being one of the few books I read over and over and over.

Finding My Way Back to My Mat

About 2 years ago I started seeking treatment for low back pain.  I won't go into all the different things I've tried but at some point along the way I stopped going to yoga because so many different movements hurt so much.

Well, here I am without much success treating the pain and finding articles like this one about treating lower pack pain and decided to see if yoga could help rather than hurt.  I've only been a few times (I don't get free classes here and what is available does not work very well with my work schedule).  Obviously, there's no instantaneous relief but even if my back isn't feeling better I'm feeling better.  I had forgotten how much of an impact yoga has. 

I'll be really super beyond happy if it helps my back (because nothing else has) but even if it doesn't I'm glad to be back on my mat. 

Have you found any alternative ways to treat back pain? How has yoga helped you?

A Gazillion Times, YES to This!!!

I can't even begin to express how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE this.  OWN that belly!!!!!



How do you feel about your belly?

Silencing the "If Only" - Start a Revolution

How many times have I/you thought, "I'd wear those shorts if I had shapely legs like her," or "I'd take that class at the gym if I was in better shape," or "Oh, she should not be wearing that?"

The pressure these days to have the perfect body...the perfect kids...the perfect life...everything is seen through an Instagram filter or benefits from photoshop. Full disclosure: I don't have/do/use Instagram nor do I usually post pictures of myself on social media but I see social media posts and wonder how people can be so perfect.  The answer is, they're not.  Of course they're not.  So why do we feel like we have to live up to this unreal/unrealistic standard?  Why do these obviously-altered pictures make us feel inadequate?

The amazing Angie at Angie Eats Peace is doing a series of posts about the wonderful spectrum of different people who do yoga.  She asked me to participate.  This included sending her a picture.  I took about 47 and hated them all.  The irony of the fact that I'm wearing a shirt that says, "Feel Beautiful Today," is not lost on me! I took another 90 or so and deleted every one of them.  I have body image issues.

I'm tired of being constantly unhappy with how I look and tired of hearing non-stop negative comments about people's appearance.  Enough already!  When someone posts a picture of themselves and gets comments saying, "If you're over 200 lbs you shouldn't wear a bikini," I want to cry for her and I want to punch the commenter in the face. We, as a society, need to Break the Self-Hatred Cycle for Our Daughters (and our sons). 

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Seeing this picture my first thought was, "If I had a flat belly like that I might consider posting a picture."  So, very quickly (otherwise I'd spend a whole day and end up with nothing I felt was good enough) and without even bothering to clean the mirror that's usually behind a shelf (I don't spend a lot of time looking at myself in the mirror!), I just took this picture....curvy belly and all.  I actually have pretty tight ab muscles but you can't see them because, as my Gran says, I'm fluffy. 

It is really not easy to put it up on the interwebs but I'm not going to apologize for not having a magazine-cover body.  I'm going to seriously work on being less judgmental about myself and other people.   The messages we're sending to young girls and boys these days are terrifying.  I can talk a good game about body positivity. It's time to start living it.  It starts now!

If you're so inclined, post your own picture and send me a link (feel free to link back to this post, too). Let's start a revolution!

Are You Healthy?

According to this article, you are most likely NOT living a healthy lifestyle.  I'm not sure if there is other research out there that agrees with this but talk about depressing!! 

If we are to believe this article, a depressing 2.7 percent of Americans live a healthy lifestyle. There are 4 criteria on which this is based.  Higher percentages of folks meet one or more of the criteria (37 percent meet 2 or more) but more than 11 percent meet NONE of the criteria. 

What did you think about the results? How do you fare? What can we do to improve these numbers?

Oh So True

Just a little humor that is So. Very. True!  All images from HERE. Enjoy!

I realize the two are not necessarily mutually exclusive but sometimes it feels like they are.

Most of my waking thoughts revolve around what I get to eat next, when I get to eat it and how much of it I get to eat!

Like I said!

MMMMMMMMM...Pizza!

That would be the definition of a smart phone!  If that happens I might consider getting one.

Plan vs Reality

Me - On a Daily Basis (especially since I mostly shower in the evening after I teach at the gym and then sleep on semi-wet hair...there's no telling what it will look like when I wake up and I generally have a Don't Ask Don't Tell relationship with my hair...I don't ask it to behave and I don't tell it what to do!).
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I plan my weekly menu, prepare everything on the weekend and have it all ready to go before I go to bed on Sunday night.  My meals are balanced and structured to provide the calories, protein, fat and carbs that I need without going overboard.  However, that doesn't always mean all goes according to plan!

This past week was crazy at work and my eating plan resembled my hair plan. I don't think I got to eat my lunch at lunch time any day and 3 days I didn't get to eat my lunch until I got home from work!  Wednesday I didn't get to eat my breakfast until lunch time (although that was partly because a coworker kidnapped it and then held it hostage (He didn't mean to do this but thought it funny when he found out and went so far as to take a picture of my breakfast and send it to me...I may or may not have locked up his lunch in my desk as retaliation.  I have an inner hungry person and her name is Tyranny...she is not a nice person!).  I posted my WIAW on Tuesday evening because I KNEW what I was going to eat. It did not go that way!



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Yesterday, after getting home once again without having had my lunch I slapped some PB on toast because I had to take the dog to an acupuncture appt. and didn't have time for anything more.  I leashed her up, opened the hatchback of the car, put down my water bottle and keys, stuck the sandwich in my mouth and picked her up to put her in the car.  I set her down and she promptly grabbed the sandwich out of my mouth.  I guess she thought I had brought her a snack. 


So this was my week.  I felt like one of those pinterest fails I've seen (I don't have (do...what is the correct verb?) pinterest but I've seen the funny pictures of attempts that fell far short of expectation). I will now plan my menu for next week and write up my shopping list, put chickpeas to soak and try to clear my mind of the stress of the week.

How did your week go?  Did you stick to your plan? What do you do when your best-laid plans get hit by a bus or snatched out of you face by your dog?

Rest

I'm not very good at resting.  If I'm not doing something I feel guilty about not doing all the things I feel like I should be doing.  No wonder I'm tired all the time.

For more than a year I've been suffering with lower back pain.  I've tried physical therapy (months and months of it) and gone through all the anti-inflammatory meds the doc had to offer (I avoided all meds for a very long time). Only one actually worked and it only worked for about 6 weeks.  The pain only got worse. Finally, after exhausting my options, I consented to getting epidural steroid injections.  Crying at my desk because of the pain wasn't working for me. "Your body is telling you something,"  I heard.

Let me just say that I HATE needles.  I thought I was going to throw up or cry or both the other morning before going to get it done.  I was told I had to rest for several days (normal activities were allowed but no teaching classes and nothing strenuous).  I was honestly a little excited.  I followed doctor orders and rested for 2 days.  After the 2nd day I couldn't sleep last night.  I'm not used to doing nothing.  Even though I couldn't keep my eyes open the rest of me just wasn't tired. I felt like rubbish this morning.  I had to get up and out!

It's really nice out today so I took the dogs for extra long walks and then cleaned up the yard. It was so good to be out and not laying around on the couch!  I'm not noticing any improvement in the pain since getting the injections but they said it could take up to a week.  Or, it might not work at all.  I don't know what I'll do in that case. 

For now, though, I think I'm done resting.  I'm not going to go crazy doing stuff but it seems there's a limit to how much nothing I can do.  The most relaxing vacation I ever took involved running or yoga every morning followed by bike riding along the coast.  That's my kind of resting :)

How do you like to rest?

What I Ate Wednesday - Vegan Goat Cheese

Goats are vegans, right?  So goat cheese is vegan, right? 

Obviously I know this is not true.  I wish it was.  I'm not a vegan...yet.  It's a goal I'm working on but there are a lot of factors involved.  I won't unpack them all in this post. I am, however, fully aware of the horrors of the animal-product industry.  I've seen the movies. I know the impacts.  The few animal products I do consume are organic and from small, local, sustainable farms.  I'm working on it.

Angie over at Angie Eats Peace sometimes does What I Ate Wednesday posts so I thought I'd do one and talk about one aspect of my vegetarian-to-vegan journey.

I'm a tiny person (although, as I discussed yesterday, not a thin person).  I've heard, "as much as you exercise you must be able to eat whatever you want," so many times.  If Only! 

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I plan my meals for the week and have to be very strict or I will easily consume far too many calories for someone my size.  Even though most of what I eat is very healthy I still have to carefully watch my portions. Eating the same thing every day for a week makes the planning a lot easier.

I usually take my dogs for a quick walk before leaving for work.  Today, however, I managed to burn my finger while boiling water for coffee so I spent all the time I had before leaving with my hand in ice water.  Not an ideal way to start a day!

I'm a little like Rain Man when it comes to eating.  You can almost set your watch to what I eat and when.  I usually eat a handful of almonds  (I have small hands so we're talking 12) on my way to work which is around 0600.  I have coffee most mornings as well.  I usually use half-and-half.  I like my coffee creamy. I know there are plant-based substitutes but they come in disposable (usually not recyclable) packaging.  I only allow myself to buy half-and-half if I can get it in returnable glass bottles from a local, organic dairy.  My desire to lead a close-to-zero waste life sometimes conflicts with my desire to become vegan.  I do sometimes use coconut oil in my coffee but after a while I really crave the creaminess that comes from half-and-half.  This is a journey and I don't have it all figured out.

At 0800 I eat my breakfast.  This week (I basically eat the same menu all week and I prepare everything on Sunday so that it is all ready to go) my breakfast is a slice of Rudi's Multigrain Sprouted toast (I am not being compensated for mentioning this product but if Rudi's is interested... :D) with a mixture consisting of a tablespoon of fresh-ground peanut butter, a tablespoon of avocado and a half-scoop of chocolate protein powder all mixed with enough water so that it is moist enough to spread.  It's not pretty but it is filling.



I wish I loved avocado like a good vegetarian but I don't.  I can eat them if I must but I do not enjoy them.  However, I found that if I mix the smashed avocado with a little peanut butter then I get the healthy benefits of eating avocado without the avocado flavor.  In this case I wanted more protein so I added the protein powder.  I like Plant Fusion (again, no compensation but if Plant Fusion is interested...:D). High protein, low carbs, tastes good and the price per serving is lower than most with similar protein-to-carb ratios.

At 1000 I eat a string cheese.  I've tried other options on my quest to eliminate animal products but so far haven't found anything that is as satisfying without a great increase in carbs/calories.  I'm still searching.  And I'm aware that string cheese comes in plastic packaging.  Striving for life as a zero-waste vegan is not an easy endeavor!

At 1130 I eat a salad (although today I had a roof inspection at 1130 so I was late eating...this does not make my inner Rain Man very happy).  Again, being somewhat RainMan-esque I eat the same salad Every. Single. Day.  It contains cauliflower, tomatoes, mushrooms and greens.  It used to contain goat cheese.  I love goat cheese.  I ran out a couple weeks ago and forgot to add it to my grocery list.  So I decided to eat my salads without it that week to see if I could get used to not having it.  Then I intentionally didn't buy any last week.  Honestly, I do not particularly enjoy my salad without the goat cheese.  I used to crave my salad but now I just eat it because it's one of the only ways I get vegetables (I'll discuss my general dislike of vegetables in another post).  Dressing I make myself with 2T ACV, 1t olive oil, 1t balsamic vinegar, some cayenne pepper and some salt-free Greek seasoning.

I believe food should be healthy (mostly) and meet the body's nutritional needs but I also feel it should be enjoyable.  There are things I eat sometimes because I know they are good for me even if I don't particularly care for them.  But I'm not a fan of doing this every day.  I'm trying to find a vegan substitute for my beloved goat cheese.  If anyone has any suggestions please let me know!  I want to enjoy my salads again.

I usually eat the rest of my lunch sometime around 1330.  I tend to make some sort of soup or stew or other dish that can be shoveled into my face with a spoon.  I very rarely eat from a plate with different foods sitting there separately.  Everything in one dish works best for me.  This week I have a soup I made with carrots, red kidney beans and whole wheat orzo. 

When I got home from work I took a little nap.  I love naps.  And, I'm almost always tired.  When I got up from my nap I took the dogs for their regular walks (longer than the morning walks).  Then I went to teach my class at the gym. I usually eat a banana on my way to the gym.

By the time I get home from the gym I'm usually ready to eat All The Things so I have to have dinner pre-made or there's no telling what will be consumed.  This week it's quinoa and tofu cooked up in soy sauce and Thai seasoning.  If sugar snap peas were in season I would have included those as well.  I also like to crush up some peanuts and mix those in but I forgot to buy them.  It's a simple dish but cooked so that the quinoa gets a little crunchy and it's super-YUM!  It can also be eaten using lettuce as a wrap but I'm usually too lazy for that extra step. I realize most people would add onions and peppers and other veggies but, again, I don't like most veggies.

I also drink lots of water throughout the day.  I have a carbonator at home as I love bubbles in my water (hold over from living in Europe).  My physical therapist recommended adding electrolytes to my water to hopefully relieve some muscle pain in my back so I started that this week.  I also like to add a splash of tart cherry juice as tart cherries help reduce inflammation.

So that's what I ate today (and the rest of the days this week).  Mostly vegan. 

What did you eat today?  Do you have any recommendations for vegan substitutes for string cheese or goat cheese?

Skinny Jeans

We had a blizzard here a couple week ago.  The shoveling-out was hell!  But it gave me a good starting point for some lessons at the gym. 

I told all my classes that I didn't care if they ever fit into skinny jeans or what they looked like in their skinny jeans if they were wearing them.  My goal is to make sure they can shovel themselves out from a blizzard or hike to the nearest gas station if their car gets stuck in the snow (I realize most people just whip out their phone and call someone these days but I come from a time when we didn't have cell phones so I remember having to hoof it if the car broke down).  Cardio endurance and core strength were going to be our focus for the week. 

For the record, I do not wear skinny jeans. Probably never will.  Then again, that isn't really my style anyway.  I have thick legs.  They are strong but there is flab as well.  I don't feel good about that but I do somehow like that I can stand in front of a class with my flabby legs and jiggly butt and lead them through a very tough workout.  I like that they can (hopefully) see that being fit and strong does not require one to be thin and lean. 

Would I like to be thin(er) and lean(er).  Sure.  But I do think that sometimes people are afraid of trying a class at the gym when the instructor looks like someone from a fitness magazine cover.  I look like an everyday, average person.  I'm okay(ish) with that.  I do like being the one with flabby legs and a jiggly butt who can do more push-ups/squats/burpees than the one who thinks an instructor with flabby thighs and a jiggly butt can't be very good :p

What do you think when you see someone who isn't thin/lean at the gym?  Do you think strong and fit are what count or do you think it's more important to be thin?

Who Am I

Hi, I'm Afi.  I love chocolate and dogs (although I don't eat the dogs and don't take chocolate for walks).   I don't expect too many people to see this but I wanted a place to talk about health and exercise/fitness and food and weight and frustrations/successes with all of those things. 

I'm a vegetarian who doesn't like very many vegetables.  I'm working towards being a vegan...maybe.  I'll talk about that later.

I'm a fitness instructor who struggles with weight and likes to eat too much.  I have body image issues but try to be a positive model of strength over size for my students. I also have chronic back pain which sometimes gets in the way of the things I want to do.

I'm just one person with a small voice.  That's okay.  Even if no one hears me.